Song 25: “Not if She Does Not”

by CJ on August 26th, 2009

Here is Song #25 – You can stream it by clicking the little PLAY button, or download it by right-clicking the title:

CJ Bargamian - 25 Not if She Does Not

25 MixerThis idea went through a couple of big changes over the course of an hour or two. I first started playing it in 4/4, then got bored and switched to 5/4, and finally settled on 3/4. I think in 3/4 it sways a bit more, and more accurately conveys the tone I wanted for the song.

I also (just like the last song) recorded way more instruments than what actually ended up in the final mix – once I had layered on a bunch of stuff, I decided that it just felt better being very simple. So, the final mix here is just one acoustic guitar and two vocal tracks.

The lyrics for this song popped into my head as I was falling asleep one night last week. As I lay in bed, I could see into the next room through a slight crack in the door to where my special ladyfriend was sewing something. You see, much like me and my musical aspirations, my ladyfriend is an artist herself – her chosen medium is fabric. I got to thinking about how she sometimes makes a garment that she knows will never be worn – much like how I write songs all the time that I know will never be heard. But that line of thought led me to wonder what would happen if all of a sudden I had a breakthrough song that made people want to get their hands on any other music I had done in the past (I remember years ago really getting into Elliott Smith and searching everywhere until I finally found music he did with his previous band Heatmeiser). At this point in my life, what would my musical legacy be? I think of all the demo tapes and CDrs that people have given me over the years, and how many I have given away myself. I have early recordings by members of Mastodon and Sound Tribe Sector 9 (I went to high school with some of them) that sound nothing at all like the music that has made them famous, and boy would they be pissed if some of that shit ended up on the internet! God help me if some of the terrible shit I’ve handed out over the years ever made it into the wrong hands…. 🙁

Instruments used:
Acoustic guitar (Seagull)

She threads the needle through cloth
And I sleep through it all
Like a restless child
I know just what this will mean
For us and what we will be
If she succeeds
And I will go with her if she does
Time will mean; not if she does not
She’s making a dress out of scraps
That will never be worn
But that’s not the point
Just like when I sing this old tune
For you, the prize in the act
We don’t have a choice

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