Here is Song #19 – You can stream it by clicking the little PLAY button, or download it by right-clicking the title:
CJ Bargamian - 19 Too Easy
This song was inspired by a conversation I had with a couple of buddies last week about how if you are a shitty/mediocre musician, all you have to do to get fans is:
1. Play loudly
2. Jump around and/or do something “crazy” or “outrageous”
3. Create semi-catchy but ultimately forgettable “hooks” in your songs
4. Most important: have a schtick
I will never down a band for being successful and building a strong fanbase by doing something they enjoy, regardless of how I feel about their music – that’s great! But, I do get a bit tired of the bottom-feeding hipsters that will flock to bands with very little skill or talent who just happen to scream into a mic and pull their balls out onstage. I wonder if maybe I had no self-respect or pride in my artistry, maybe I could behave “outrageously” and people would appreciate my music more. I guess I’d just rather be Dean Martin than Johnny Rotten.
Related: If I decided to form a cult based on bullshit that I completely make up, I can guarantee that I could have a dozen followers by the end of the week. And you could too. There are always people out there who are willing to follow, so long as you have some sore of schtick. See what I’m getting at?
Enough about all that – let’s talk about the song here. I tried to put myself in the mindset of someone who just plays simple, loud music with no substance and pseudo-social-commentary lyrics. With that in mind, I picked up my Telecaster and just banged out the first 3 chords that were in the same key – I think I went with B, Em, and maybe F#. I just played each of those chords in different orders and I had this song written in my head in literally 4 minutes. It’s that easy to write this crap, folks. I recorded the electric guitar really loudly, then overdubbed a simple electric bass line (I played it with a quarter instead of a guitar pick for extra “punk rock attitude”), and then beat on a couple of drums with the most simple rhythm I could possibly do. Oh, and then I also played the crappiest intentionally-bad guitar solo I could do.
I couldn’t force myself to give any thought at all to writing “real” lyrics for this song, so I just pushed the record button and sang along like I didn’t care (I figured that was appropriate). I made up the lyrics on the spot and it’s pretty much just about wanting to be the singer in a shitty band just so I can get on stage and dance around with my pants down. Once that was recorded, I threw some “edgy” distortion on the vocals; this is a common trick used to blur the line between talent and attitude. Ever heard a song and wondered if the “crazy” or “wild” singer can actually sing or not? 🙂
This is not a good song – it is an easy song that took 4 minuted to write and about 40 minutes to record and finish. I did it to prove a point to myself, and kinda just to be an ass. All I need now is a band full of guys willing to wear hot pink jumpsuits and pee on each other onstage and I’ll be a hit!
Instruments used:
Electric guitar (Fender ’75 Thinline Tele reissue)
Snare drum & floor tom
Electric bass (Fender Jazz Bass)
Vocals
Lyrics:
I can’t even make myself write them out…